Say What You Are Not Saying

When you communicate with someone, there's generally a gap between what you say and what you're thinking. First of all it's beneficial that this gap exists.  What may be going on in people's head may be irrelevant to the group as a whole, unnecessarily hurtful, inappropriate timing, damaging to one's self. Dialogue or discussion takes into account interests beyond the speaker's. At the same time, if your inability to say what you're really thinking is costing you and the other person then that gap needs to be closed.  To determine if and what you should say:

1) Identify the gap between what is thought and said,
2) Recognize the pluses and minuses of sharing,
3) Reframe and reality test what you will say before you say it.