Tip: Separate Your Position from Your Self

Recognize your views are not you to prevent hurt from another’s disagreement.

When someone criticizes your strongly-held conclusions, you begin to view the criticism as an attack on your person. When others criticize your position, frame your position as outside of you to create a safe zone. Separating the position from your self provides the necessary comfort to stand up to disagreement.

Reconsider your reaction as a choice of interpretation. Sometimes the other person does not intend to attack you as a person. Sometimes the other person does intend to attack you as a person. Jumping into attack mode often makes things worse. For a moment assume you are not being attacked. Rather than getting flustered, rather than getting overwhelmed, you can be calm and able to respond more effectively.

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