New Decade Habits for Positivity
By Heather Meeker Green
A cornerstone of emotional intelligence, positivity can be valuable in sustaining relationships, being productive, staying healthy, and inspiring motivation.
We know it is a good idea to inhabit and project some positivity in the world, especially at the start of a new year, but what is positivity, why is it important and how do we do so when it is not our typical mode or we don’t feel like it in the moment?
Positivity is the perception of optimism, joy and gratitude and/or a display of acceptance, admiration, confidence. When we demonstrate positivity and retrain our brains from old negativity habits, we enhance our physical and mental health and performance.
Once it is a practice, we experience more openness, sensation of lightness, and motivation to create progress and action.
At the start of a new period, like a year or decade, I often find I have more hope and optimism for the possibilities and what can happen and be accomplished. When this is not present, I have found three easy habits to help me harness positivity for my own wellbeing as well as in relationship with others:
Deep breath and smile
Be curious
Turn off negative self-talk
Deep breath and smile
Sometimes my lack of positivity comes from stress and my unconscious habit of holding it in my body. A simple way to break the pattern and shift is to take a deep breath and smile.
The deep breath promotes a self-healing step and allows you to release any tension you are holding in other parts of your body for a moment of ease. With a full oxygen exchange, your lungs clear out the carbon dioxide and receive fresh oxygen, slowing the heart rate, decreasing blood pressure, and cleansing the whole body and providing a long list of benefits: relieving anxiety, increasing calm, boosting immunity, releasing toxins, minimizing pain, providing energy, and even improving posture.
The act of smiling tells your brain to release stress-reducing neuropeptides and other neurotransmitters to relieve pain, or act as an anti-depressant, and let go of tension. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, it can still create a mood boost. Secondly, when you smile you often inspire others to smile back, thus increasing an impact and the other person gets the benefit, too. Studies have also shown that job performance increases when we smile, enhancing productivity, creativity, and efficiency.
And when I am faced with a phone call or virtual meeting, especially when I feel uncertainty or tension regarding the upcoming meeting, I smile before I join the conversation. Research has shown that there is a positive effect on the other party, even in the absence of seeing the smile. Our tones change to help produce a beneficial outcome along with a shifted mindset.
Be curious
If I am in a negative state, I am likely criticizing, judging, comparing, or adding unconstructive meaning to my thoughts. When I move away from such subjective thinking, and instead foster curiosity, I open to more objectivity and less discouraging analysis. As I attach meaning to the situation or to what I heard or saw, and feel negative emotions, I block the opportunity to shift to wonder and imagination. Creating a habit of being curious brings us space and moves us away from rigidity and limitation. We remain flexible when we receive new information and listen without putting a layer of interpretation or judgment on it first. This frees us from falling into the negative assumption rut.
To create more curiosity, I made it a practice to pause and listen in conversations and when I was ruminating by myself. Within the slowed space, I learned to ask questions, especially open-ended ones to leave room for a variety of responses, and I imagined different possibilities rather than getting stuck on one. I have grown to look at all of the “gray” in situations, rather than thinking only in black and white.
Turn off negative self-talk
It can take some self-awareness to start this habit. I began by noticing that voice in my head that was quietly (and sometimes loudly) providing a monologue of mostly critical and judgmental thoughts, many that were aimed at myself. Once I recognized I was having them, I would try to catch myself in such a state, and to separate from that voice and shift to focusing on the facts and observations of the situation, rather than the negative feelings and interpretations. This neutral outlook slowed the repercussions of speaking about myself negatively. Halting the onslaught of negative self-talk helped remove limitations and inhibitions and bring more emotional peace, courage, and motivation. I also learned to show more compassion for myself which allowed the tension in my body to release and create openness for positive thoughts.
While I understand that our negative feelings tell us important things too, and we shouldn’t shut them off completely, there are times when negativity won’t serve us in finishing a project, having a conversation or getting through a workday. So instead, as we begin a new year and a new decade, employ three simple habits to infuse some positivity into your mind and body, and perhaps you’ll take a step further than you might have or shift yourself into new headspace to reach your intended results.
Wishing you a positive new year!