The Dying Art of Interpersonal Savvy: Red Flags in a Technically-Succumbed World

By: Rachel DiGiammarino

Would you have guessed?

  • Facebook is the dominant social media platform, used by 57% of all adults and 73% of all those ages 12-17; adult Facebook use is intensifying: 64% of Facebook users visit the site on a daily basis (up 51% since 2010). (1)

  • Smartphone sales passed 1 billion in 2013; smartphones accounted for 55% of all mobile sales last year. (2)

  • 77% of all teenagers own a cell phone, up from 45% in 2004; 63% of all teens say they exchange text messages every day with people in their lives (versus 39% who say they have phone calls by cell every day, as well as 35% who say they do face-to-face socializing outside of school). (3)

  • Americans age 18-29 send an average of nearly 88 text messages a day. (4)

  • Teens spend more than 7 ½ hours a day consuming media - watching TV, listening to music, surfing the Web, social networking, and playing video games, according to a 2010 study of 8- to 18-year-olds. (5)

Would you admit?

  • Sending calls to voicemail, preferring to retrieve a message rather than talk to the caller live.

  • Crafting a text versus placing a call to avoid the direct interaction.

  • Writing an email or chat instead of walking into someone’s office for a face-to-face conversation.

  • Declining a meeting invite and sending your contributions via email to avoid dealing with people in the same room.

These are the realities of how technology gives us the ‘easy out’ when it comes to engaging with people. While technology certainly has its upsides, in the long run when impersonalization in the name of efficiency in the workplace becomes the new norm and is hard-wired into our brain, we lose practice of (and confidence in) our crucial interpersonal skills - talking, listening, understanding, empathizing, and positive non-verbal face-to-face cues like making eye contact.  We raise the risk of weakening our authenticity, relationships, teams, and successes. Many psychologists, organizational development practitioners, and other scholars are drawing on the research of such neuroscientists as Teena D. Moody, Ph.D., Prabha Siddarth, Ph.D., and Susan Y. Bookheimer, Ph.D.  Along a broader spectrum of downsides, are those who argue that the Internet may have harmful consequences on cognition that reduce one’s capacity for human intelligence - namely concentration and contemplation. Leading this position is Pulitzer Prize nominee Nicholas Carr, author of “The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains.” (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2011).

In the realm of business, where organizational leaders have more decision-making authority over the priority of employee development, the tide is just beginning to shift with a heightened awareness of the value of ‘soft skills.’  The focus should be a (re) development of an employee’s social acumen. These relational and communication-oriented skills are needed to do our jobs as much as the more technical aspects.   

For those of you old enough to remember that cliche of the 1990’s, “I’m a people person” don’t worry, that’s not quite what we mean. We are in a different age, and workplace expectations, capacity, measurements, and globalization are changing fast and introducing more complexity. Finding, developing and retaining the right talent is part art, part-science, and sometimes involves a little rewiring to ensure human interaction is not replaced with a predilection for Cyborg. 

References

(1)Smith, Aaron. “6 new facts about Facebook.” FactTank: News in the Numbers. Pew Research Center, February 3, 2014. Web. February 4, 2014.

(2)Arthur, Charles. “Smartphone sales pass 1bn in 2013 as China booms. The Guardian, January 29, 2014. Web. February 4, 2014.

(3)Lenhart, Amanda. “Teens, Smartphones & Texting.” Pew Internet and American Life Project. Pew Research Center, March 19, 2012. Web. February 4, 2014.

(4)Kluger, Jeffrey. “We never talk anymore. The problem with text messaging.” CNN Tech. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc, September 6, 2012. Web. February 4, 2014.

(5)Kaiser Family Foundation. “Generation M2: Media in the Lives of 8- to 18-Year-Olds.” The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, January 20, 2010. Web. February 4, 2014.